Paul Heinz

Original Fiction, Music and Essays

Therapy Session Leads to Short Story

The story behind my short story, “The Missing Ingredient," as told to Sucker Literary Magazine.  The latest issues is available in paperback and in digital form at Amazon.

 

A transcription of a conversation with my therapist, July 2012

Therapist: So in summary, what you seem to be saying is that you’re still holding onto the humiliation you felt as a teenager.

Me:  Well, duh. Isn’t everyone?

T:  No, not really.  Many people are able to, in time, embrace their childhoods.  You can get there too.

Me: No fricking way.  There is no way you’re going to tell me that I’ll be able to embrace the time I offered to carry Brittney Wright’s books, and she told me I was too scrawny.

T: You asked a girl to carry her books?  What decade were you living in?

Me: Um...well...

T: Cuz seriously, that sounds like something straight out of Leave it to Beaver.  You must have struck out a lot in high school, huh?

Me: Well, yeah.  In dating, and, um...baseball, too, I guess.  Other stuff.  Can we change topics?

T: You know, maybe you're right.  I’m not sure I can help you to embrace your childhood.  Unless...

Me: Unless what?  Doc, you gotta help me!  My face breaks out at the mention of tater tots.  I panic when I have to unhook a bra, even when no one’s wearing it!  For the love of all that’s holy, what should I do?

T: Write about it.

Me: Write about it!  That’s brilliant!  I’ll write a short story, get it published and parlay that into a novel, and it’ll beat out John Green for the “Awesome Kickass Young-Adult Novel of the Year” award.

T: Um...yeah, if that’s the extent of your vocabulary, you might want to...

Me: Too late, Mr. Therapist.  I’m ready.  I’m ready to reveal the suckiness of teenagedom in all its glory!

Roger Ebert

An eerie coincidence: two nights ago, I spent a half an hour watching an old Siskel and Ebert movie review at http://siskelandebert.org/ of one hell of a week for movie lovers.  During that week in 1982, they reviewed Tootsie, The Verdict and Sophie’s Choice.  Not too shabby. 

The next day I found out that Roger Ebert had died. 

This news jolted me, as I’d just been watching the forty year-old Ebert offer his witticisms the night prior, and though the news saddened me, I’d already felt the loss of no longer being able to watch new versions of the great show both he and Gene Siskel left behind.  Fortunately for us, two other film lovers have helped catalogue these old reviews at http://siskelandebert.org/ (though I notice the website was down earlier today.  We can only hope this was because of too many hits and not because the powers that be at Disney/ABC – the owners of all the “At the Movie” episodes from 1986 through 2010 - have thrown their weight around and filed a lawsuit.  For more on the stupidity of Disney/ABC, click on a blog of mine from a year ago).

Siskel and Ebert’s show was part of my life due to my mother’s influence, when in the 1970s we tuned into the show “Sneak Previews” on PBS.  We even watched for a while after Siskel and Ebert’s departure, but before long we turned back to the critics we’d grown to love at their new show, “At the Movies.”  Always interesting, sometimes enlightening, and almost always entertaining, the weekly show helped to solidify in me what was already becoming a fascination with the movies.

For any of you who missed how insightful and entertaining movie criticism can be, look no further than their 1990 discussion (at minute 14:40) of the anti-Semitism accusations people made of Spike Lee for his film, Mo’ Better Blues. As both a film lover and a Jewish man, Siskel handles the subject deftly, while Roger Ebert displays his innocence by admitting he didn’t even know the characters were supposed to be Jewish (I didn’t either back in 1990).  It was a grown-up discussion before the days of the Internet when name-calling and browbeating weren't the norm.

Both Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert will be missed, with or without a video record of their contributions to film criticism, but what’s mindboggling to me is how a similar show can’t succeed today.  Aren’t their two skillful writers out there who’ve got some personality and who can provide movie lovers with a show in the same vein as “At the Movies”?  Even an Internet-only broadcast would be acceptable to me.  If one exists that I'm simply not aware of, please leave a comment at the end of this blog.

An aside: I should also note that in 2011 I happened to be listening to an Amy Winehouse song at the same time I later found out she was dying, and now Roger dies hours after I watch a review of his.  For those of you whose blogs I read, watch out.

YA Short Story Published!

My short story, "The Missing Ingredient," is now available in digital and print form in the young-adult publication, Sucker Literary Magazine, volume 2.  

Alex is living the rock and roll dream, playing bass and singing for the power trio, Aunt Sally’s Nightmare.  But when his bandmates invite Maureen to sing lead, it soon becomes a battle for control.  Or could it be a battle for something else?

I was published in volume 1 last year and am again thrilled to contribute one of nine great stories featuring the most interesting people on the planet - teenagers.  Sucker is available in paperback for $9.99 and in Kindle form for $3.99.  Check it out.  If you have trouble finding it, give me a shout.

Making Music Matter - part two

The adage, “You Are What You Do,” can apply to your hobbies as well as your moral choices.  You say you like music?  You say music used to be an important component of your life before it gave way to reality TV, the NCAA tournament and your kids’ soccer games?  Well then, every once in a while, why not get together with some friends to discuss music? 

For the past two years I’ve been blessed to do exactly this with some fellow music geeks…er…music lovers…up in the Milwaukee area around four times a year.  Some variation of Kevin, Aaron, Scott, John, Pete and I congregate in Kevin’s “Wall of Sound” basement to play and discuss music, often bands I’ve never heard of before, or bands I’d forgotten about, or bands whose deep cuts I’d never explored.  The experience can be enlightening, infuriating, and life-affirming.  But it’s never boring. 

We often approach the night with a theme, which helps, because themes force us to go beyond the obvious.  Last month, our theme was “Songs under three minutes or over seven minutes.”  I went further and added my own personal rules: no songs from the 60s, no Yes, no Rush, no Genesis, no Zeppelin and no CDs – vinyl only.  What resulted was a fantastic mix of songs I’d never even listened to before, even those from my own collection.  Obscure tracks by Madness, Big Country, Fleetwood Mac, Robert Plant, Wheezer, Bowie, Wilco, Duran Duran, Tanita Tikarum, and much more, made our list that night.  I walked away with dozens of songs and bands to reexamine.

Of course, you don't have to see friends in person these days to discuss music.  I've got another set of buddies who share music and opinions back and forth each week via email.  Again, it's an experience that never fails to spark an interesting viewpoint, even when the music fails to grab your gut.

If you don’t have friends that you can truly discuss music with, you should probably find some new friends.  But here’s an alternative: listen to others discuss music.

Chicago is blessed to be the home of a terrific radio show about music, Sound Opinions, hosted by columnists Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot, and NPR stations nationwide have picked up this syndicated show.  Sure, DeRogatis and Kot’s tastes may be wildly different from your own (they often talk about bands I have absolutely no interest in), but the hosts are so obviously in love with music that it’s hard not to respect them even when they make a recommendation that's out of left field.  Their show also subscribes to the occasional theme and regularly highlights new releases that you might not otherwise have exposure to. 

This week’s Sound Opinions show examines those bands that produced not one, not two, not three, but four knockout albums in succession, a rare feet they coin “Musical Grand Slams”  It’s fun topic that could stir debate among music lovers for weeks on end.  Before they started their list, the first artist that popped into my head was Stevie Wonder.   Bingo - the first artist featured on the radio program was Stevie Wonder.  A no-brainer.  Some of the other artists they mentioned made no sense to me.  Some I thought of would undoubtedly make no sense to them.

But that’s what makes it fun. 

Want to make music matter again?  Start talking about it.

Making Music Matter Again - part one

One of my more obnoxious qualities circa 1985 (and there were many) was, upon hearing a song on the radio, reciting the song title, artist, album, year, album side and song number.  So, when a particular song crackled on WQFM, I might say something like, “Goodbye Stranger, Supertramp, Breakfast in America, 1979, side one, third song.” 

It goes without saying that I didn’t date much circa 1985.

At that time in my life, records weren’t just purchased; they were digested.  After all, an LP at K-Mart cost the equivalent of two hours of dishwashing at Seigo’s Japanese Steakhouse – I needed to make the most of my record-buying binges by not only listening to the record, but studying the album’s cover, lyrics and liner-notes.  (One of the biggest disappointments was purchasing a record that came in a blank white sleeve; it diminished the whole listening experience).  Even albums that fell flat initially called for repeated listens, as I forced myself to justify a poor purchase until something redeeming was revealed, and with the exception of Gregg Rollie’s solo LP, I always found something positive to take away from a record purchase.

Today, music can be accessed, purchased, copied and shared with one click, often a song at a time, so the idea of reciting an album side and song number has become an anachronism (and has probably allowed music geeks to land a few more dates).  More importantly, the access to free music has resulted in its devaluation.  Music has become disposable, no more valuable than a paper plate.  Unless you’re talking about sunsets, love and air, that which is free generally has little to no worth.

Recently, I’ve made strides to making music matter again in my life.  There are a number of steps a music lover can take to become more actively engaged in music listening.  Number one: listen to vinyl.

I am not a vinyl snob.  I never got into expensive stereo equipment.  I haven't refrained from purchasing CDs.  I love listening to music on the go.  And the lower quality of compressed music on-line has never been a big deal to me.  I don’t listen to vinyl for the so-called superior sound quality.  I listen to vinyl because I can only do it when I’m in my basement where there’s nothing else to do except listen to the music, and because there’s something magical about placing a needle into the groove of a record – it’s one of those mundane acts that transcends the act itself, forming a link to generations, artists, and eras gone by.

I asked  Chris Ellensohn, co-owner of Cheap Kiss Records in Schaumburg, Illinois, to explain why vinyl matters.  He said it was summed up best by an intern his company hired a few years ago: “I feel like you should have to work a little bit for your music so that it is not taken for granted.”

A good summary, but Chris elaborates more eloquently than I ever could.  “Retrieving the record, carefully removing it from the jacket, cleaning it if necessary, gingerly dropping the needle into the groove, perusing the liner notes as the first strains of that particular band’s attempt at a first impression greet you, are all moments of connection to the artist.  Compare it to a painting by your favorite artist hanging on your wall vs. having a picture of it on your phone.  Having something tangible can make a big difference. 

“The fact that we can hit play on iTunes and shuffle our way to hours of uninterrupted background noise just makes us more removed from the point of musical inception, that moment in time when a fleeting thought fleshed itself out into a melody, harmony and rhythm intended to worm its way into your brain and not let go.”

The idea that we’ve become “more removed from the point of musical inception” resonates in other areas of our lives: the clothes we wear, the food we eat and the furniture we sit on.  Listening to vinyl is akin to growing your own vegetables, building your own bookshelf, or knitting your own sweater.  There’s something pure, perhaps even noble, about listening to music like it truly matters.

Give it a try sometime.  And if you’re in the western ‘burbs of Chicago, come and join Chris and Cheap Kiss Records tonight (March 18) from 6-8PM at Cornerstone Used Books in Villa Park.  They’ll be talking – and spinning – records.  Tonight’s theme: 70s AM Radio Hits.

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