The High Tolerance for Mediocrity

None of us excels at everything we pursue, and it would be absurd to even try.  As if living in the 21st Century isn’t challenging enough, do we really need to beat ourselves up for not being the best at everything, resulting in a high-octane, high-stressed, frazzled existence? No thank you. But goodness, I’m often dumbfounded by people who have no drive to excel in anything. I discussed this with a friend of mine recently at lunch, and he concluded that some people just have a high tolerance for mediocrity.

And look, I could be accused of the same when it comes to working out, cooking, lawncare, crossword puzzles, tennis, fashion, travel planning, home maintenance, guitar, religion and – as if this needed pointing out – blog composition. But for a few areas in my life, I really do try to be the best I can be, to overprepare and knock the ball out of the park. Where I’ve fallen into trouble is when my lack of tolerance for mediocrity isn’t aligned with someone else’s.

As a musician, I’ve often assumed that fellow band members would want to play to the best of their abilities and work hard to nail down a song. This isn’t always the case. In fact, more often than not, it’s not the case. For some people, just being in a band is the goal, and playing something well enough is, well…enough. This isn’t a crime. It’s okay to play okay in an okay band. It just isn’t for me, and it took me many years to recognize when I was walking into a situation where people’s expectations didn’t align with mine. Honestly, I’m still not sure I’ve figured it out.

But I do think that everyone should try to be good at something. That doesn’t mean being the best or being dejected when a goal isn’t achieved – it just means working hard to obtain something and taking pleasure and pride in that pursuit. If playing an instrument is “your thing,” then strive to play it well, or as well as you can. If running is your thing, set some goals for distances and times and work to obtain them. If cooking is your thing, attempt a new recipe that expands your skillset.

I once wrote the following lyric:

The truth be told, my friend
There lies a noble end
But it’s a million miles away
From where you’ve been
You’ve been on cruise control
Without a lofty goal
And every day begins and ends
And ends where it begins

I wrote these words in 2002 ostensibly about a friend of mine who had hit hard times and seemed to be sleepwalking through life (the song, “Grounded,” would eventually appear on my 2007 album, Pause). But as with a lot of my lyrics, the words were – in retrospect – aimed squarely at me, or a future version of me, when I wasn’t living life as fully as I could be. Now, when I have a day or days or weeks when I’m not doing much of anything purposeful, I recall this song and remind myself to kick things into gear.

I believe
There is something grand you’re ready to achieve
It’s not so out of reach
After all
There are lesser souls than you to heed the call

None of us can hit the mark all of the time. But what kind of lives are we living if we don’t even try to hit it some of the time?